Swiper, No Swiping!


If any of you have kids about the same age as I do, you remember this sly little fox from “Dora the Explorer.” 

He was always lurking in the corner trying to steal something.

Maybe Dora’s writers knew something that we didn’t about the art of swiping. 

Once I was a Premium member and was able to view and respond to messages, I was left a little… Let’s just say, bewildered.

At first, I had about 25 likes and a few messages.

And it went kind of like this:

18 of the 25 were in other states, or other countries even.

Two were the dreaded: 

Image result for unsolicited dick pic

And the remaining five were:

  • A profile name of, ladylicker
  • A profile name of, Animefan
  • A profile name of, bigmaninyou
  • A profile name of, Xitwounds
  • A profile name of, SearchingNDFW

I narrowed it down to only “SearchingNDFW” and clicked to see what he was all about.

His profile photo was of himself, holding a creepy Sci-Fi doll, with a ComiCon VIP pass around his neck. Nothing against Comicon, but just not my thing.

As suspected.. I wasted so much time contemplating the monthly subscription fee, that I missed the opportunity to meet my soul mate. 

I then started to browse the profiles within my location radius.

My thumbs were locked and loaded ready to swipe, swipe, swipe.

After a while, my thumbs began to atrophy from no movement. 

They were not swiping. 

I found plenty of profiles with shirtless men, nerdy men, toothless men, motorcycle gang men, racist men, dominant men, married men and couples (yes that is a thing), but didn’t seem to find anything that seemed even remotely compatible with me.

I was feeling extremely defeated.  Discouraged, and downright blue.

And then there was John.

This blonde haired, blue-eyed, tall, muscular, beautiful species of a man that liked and messaged me.

My first thought was, he must have made a mistake, and then I remembered what site I was on.

Then I saw that his location was New Jersey, and since I’m in Texas, found myself extremely disappointed again.  However, given that this was the first man I had any interest in speaking to whatsoever, I responded to his message and opened up the dialogue.

He told me he was thinking about relocating to Texas, which is why is reached out to me.  He gushed about how beautiful I was, and how he was looking for true love.  Blah Blah Yada Yada.  Everything a girl wants to hear.

After a couple of days of chatting through the app, he asked for my phone number.  Which I happily gave him, because, well, see above.

We exchanged text messages for a couple of days, at which point he told me he was leaving to go out of the country on a construction project and would be gone for a few months.

We continued to text, but oddly, each time I tried to call him, he never picked up.

I started feeling like this guy was a little too good to be true, so I asked him if we could FaceTime so I could see his face.  At which time he responded with a story that he was not allowed to bring a smart phone into this particular area of Africa, due to local government restrictions.


At this point, I stopped responding.  Then he began with his barrage of text messages asking where I was, where did I go, and why was I not responding.

Then it happened.

The request for money.  THE SCAM.

The sad story that he would not be paid until the end of the contract, and he really wanted to watch the World Cup. He requested that I purchase $250 in iTunes gift cards and send to him so he could stream the world cup.

You mean, stream it on the smart phone that you’re not allowed to have with you?

This was the first time I ever learned about this type of scam, and the first time I learned about the BLOCK feature on my phone.

My experiences with this particular website was pretty consistent across the board.

Very disappointing and discouraging.

However, if my purpose was to learn, and pass along info that may help others, I am happy to be that vessel.

Ladies, hear this.

Men will pick sites like these, because unfortunately, if you are a larger woman, society will label you as desperate, weak, or needy. You will be targeted because of that stereotype.

Keep your guard up!

If I have learned anything from this experience, it is this…. Do not..and I repeat, do NOT, settle. 

Do not swipe for the sake of swiping.

Do not respond if the man is anything less than what you KNOW you deserve.

We are strong.. We are beautiful.. We are smart..

And we definitely need a different dating site.

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