In the beginning, man created dating.
And dating was without the internet.
And technology fell upon dating and man said, “Let there be swipe!”
Then woman saw the swipe and knew that it was good.
And that was the beginning of the first date.
Just like many Americans rely on the bible to find their faith, many now rely on dating sites to find their soulmates. Even Justin Bieber included “swiping” in one of his tunes. Many of us have now incorporated it into our daily lives. Eat, Pray and Swipe.
I have become one of the masses.
First, let me start off by telling you something different about my story. I’m not the typical single woman who finds herself dating in her 40s.
Not only am I older, I am also a true Empath, with more than her share of a “few extra pounds,” I have also predominantly been with women for the past 20+ years.
Why is that? Well for many reasons, but mostly because I don’t (didn’t) trust men. But what woman does right?
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not jaded or bitter. I just have trust issues. And I pay a therapist nicely to help me with that.
I do understand that there are a few of you women out there that DO trust men. You know who you are. You are the ones in the “unicorn” relationships, where you married your high-school sweetheart and have had a beautiful and committed relationship for 20+ years. And if you happen to be one of the lucky ones, “Good on ya!” DAMN YOU! You took all the good guys and left what seems to be the cheaters, liars, players, and narcissists for the rest of us. Again.. not bitter………
I do realize however, that my exposure to this type of man is not unique to me. I’m sure every woman has similar stories, sans the “unicorn” relationships, but I will say that being an overweight Empath who carries her heart on her sleeve, does muddy the waters a little bit. And I hate getting in water where you can’t see the bottom.
So.. ultimately, I turned to women.
It was much easier to find a best friend. A confidante. Someone who would have long, deep, emotional discussions with me. Someone who judged me on more than just my physical appearance.
Someone who I could trust to be faithful.
But above all else, someone who knew the difference between Grape and Aubergine!
But whatever the reason, their hearts or their shoes.. He stood there on Christmas eve………. oh wait.. wrong story.
Dr. Seuss is my jam and I can see how one could make online dating very Seussical. In fact, I may just write a full entry on how the brilliance of Dr. Seuss could easily apply to this journey we are on.
But for now, we continue on this path.
After many months of therapy under my belt, my list of likes and dislikes in hand (encouraged by my therapist), a new hair color, a new shade of lipstick, and a few selfies, I decided to put on my big girl panties (they are ALL big girl panties by the way) and tackle this on-line dating thing. I had put my past behind me, and am ready to find a man! No turning back…
But now what?
I need to pick my poison.
Which one to choose?
There are so many sites and apps to choose from now. It was a bit overwhelming. Back in the day, when I first made my first feeble attempt at online dating, oh say 12 or so years ago, there was only Match.com, eHarmony, and Plenty of Fish. That I knew of anyway.
Now we can have a picnic with “Match”ing napkins, and take “Our time” and relax, because we know that, “It’s just lunch,” and we can listen to the birds and bees “Bumble” and “eHarmonize,” while watching the “Tinder” offspring of a mama bear drink water and eat “Plenty of fish” from the “OKC” river.
How’s that for a visual?
Point is. There is a plethora of options when it comes to dating sites these days.
And I, being who I am, fearful of rejection, decided to go for one that was for larger women. It is called BBPeople Meet.
Let the games begin.